Public Pool Diaries
Taylor here. I am a nanny and since it is summer, I spend a lot of time with the kids at a nearby pool. These are recent observations, experiences, thoughts on such.
- A grandpa aged man in mustard shorts exits the shallow end. He has an erection. Really. I nearly pointed and yelled, “Hey, sicko get the hell out of here! Do you realize you are in a public place around a bunch of children?!”
- Is that thing over there a human child or a gargoyle?
- I have never enjoyed myself at a public pool in my entire life.
- Interaction between teenage boys. “Hey, Bill.” “Oh. Hey, Kev.” Terrible nicknames, guys. Not much effort.
- How much do lifeguards get paid?
- Toddler with a legitimate mullet. Not giving off cool vibes though so pretty disappointing.
- 10 year old girls at the snack bar to each other, “Eww. You just ate 8 grams of fat, honey.” Hmm, this bothered me for a number of reasons. Why do they know what grams of fat are? Why are they calling each other honey? Last but not least, why do girls let themselves have bitchy friends?
- Why did I not get any money from the movie Powder? It is about my personal struggle with being pale.
- Sentence heard from a small boy’s mouth, “I once saw a girl with a mustache at McDonalds. I guess all girls grow up to have them.”
- A baby is named Tony. I didn’t know that was allowed. He definitely wasn’t Iron Man material either. I’m sure he has a doomed life ahead of him.
- A mom wearing loose red men’s cargo shorts. My future?
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